Sunday, April 6, 2014
Should, Will, and Might: A Wrestlemania 30 Preview
The finale. The show of shows. The grandest stage of them all. The "Super Bowl" of wrestling. Those are just a few terms for the piece of Americana that is known as Wrestlemania. It started almost thirty years ago in 1985 with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T, the event isn't just one night for a few hours. It's a week long extravaganza that people from all over the world come to see. You have the opportunity to interact with stars from the past (legends), present (current stars) and future (NXT). Wrestlemania just doesn't add a few bucks to Vince McMahon's wallet. It adds tens of millions of dollars o the city's economy, thus starting bidding wars similar to a small scale Olympics.
With all that being said, the card is usually packed to the gills to get the most buys. This year is different and intriguing, as the WWE's new online network (available on game consoles, tablets, phones and computers) makes the show available for the monthly price of $9.99. It is a definite steal to the usual $45 to $55 you would pay on cable. After the marquee portion of the card, this year's slate of matches takes a little looking into to find the substance and what to expect in terms of outcomes. I will look at what should happen, what will happen and what might happen based on rumors, etc.
Pre Show Tag Team Title Match: The Real Americans vs. Rybaxel vs. Los Matadores vs The Usos (c)
What Should Happen: This should be a triple threat tag match ON THE MAIN CARD: The Real Americans, Rhodes Brothers and Usos. Los Matadors and Rybaxel shouldn't even be in this match. They add nothing in the ring with very generic moves and no connection to the audience outside their small, gimmicky "bull". The Real Americans should look strong here, as they - like the Rhodes- have put on incredible matches week in and week out. Regardless of the tension teased between the duo and Zeb Coulter, the RA's should remain a tight knit team after the Prime Time Players' recent break-up. If they do not win the straps, they should be teased as the lone challengers following Mania to keep the Usos busy.
What Will Happen: The Usos will go over to give the fans a feel good moment before the actual pay-per-view.
What Might Happen: The Real Americans will eat the pin and tease even more dissension, leading to a break-up. Cesaro gets booked strong while Swagger is sent into a directionless singles run leading to his eventual release in eight months.
Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational: AJ versus the field
What Should Happen: AJ Lee should be in a singles match versus Naomi that goes ten minutes on the mainstream stage and shows everyone that divas can wrestle and look good doing so. The added Vickie Guerrero Divas Championship Invitational title should be changed to "Divas Championship Clusterf***".
What Will Happen: The divas will wrestle for all of 7 minutes in a match where finishers begin almost immediately. One does an aerial move to a bunch on the outside, and Naomi does her ass-based offense on AJ for the win, failing to showcase the actual talent of the two stars.
What Might Happen: AJ loses in record time to Nikki Bella with a female attitude adjustment, because of her relationship with CM Punk and Bella's with John Cena.
The Shield versus Kane and the New Age Outlaws
What Should Happen: The Shield should win in convincing fashion, with all three made to look like stars in a 15 minute match against younger opponents. In a perfect world, they would face the Wyatt Family again in an absolute classic. But Bray Wyatt's showcase against Cena is too important for that to happen.
What Will Happen: The Shield will look dominant, being put over by the old guard. Gunn will gas out early, Road Dogg will do just enough to entertain the crowd and Kane will carry the load for his team. The match ironically won't do the Shield any justice by not being as long as it should, but the trio will end the night on the winning side.
What Might Happen: The Shield implode and either lose, or come dangerously close to doing so. They have it out and break up within the next few weeks, unraveling a very dynamic and intriguing stable the wrestling world has never seen before.
The Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal:
What Should Happen: As mentioned above, the Rhodes brothers should be nowhere near this match, and switched out for Rybaxel. That being said, whoever wins this needs to look like a star and help propel them for bigger things. 30 men make this essentially a second Royal Rumble with a far lesser prize, so the field should be cut to twenty. Dolph Ziggler, Fandango, Cody Rhodes, the Miz, and Big E Langston could all benefit from a win here. Ziggler has been on a roll lately, so I believe he should "show off" and win the inaugural event. The remaining three open slots should be used on stars who can offer a little something different. Evan Bourne, anyone? Also, Big E should be excluded and defending the IC title against a heel midcarder.
What Will Happen: Cody Rhodes will win and remind everyone why he is ready for the main event. He will eliminate Goldust and cause a rift between the two leading to a feud next month.
What Might Happen: Big Show might win in predictable fashion and eliminate all the other 29 superstars over the rope with the WMD, one by one.
The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
What Should Happen: I'd love to say Lesnar should break the streak and prove everyone wrong, as well as making the most of his very big paydays...but I can't. The streak is so transcendent that it shouldn't be broken- especially not for a part-timer. Undertaker should win the match in a physical classic with multiple F-5, chokeslam and Tombstone kickouts.
What Will Happen: The Undertaker will look more fragile than ever and it will be a 20 minute match with lots of rest spots for the deadman. Lesnar will grow frustrated and leave himself open to a Tombstone on the ringsteps for the 1-2-3.
What Might Happen: CM Punk interferes and causes Lesnar the match, building off last year's feud and his history with Heyman. But we can have pipe dreams, right?
John Cena vs. Bray Wyatt
What Should Happen: The Wyatts should be banned from ringside early to make this a true one-on-one matchup. The two should battle for 20 minutes with Wyatt kicking out of at least one Attitude Adjustment, while taking multiple Sister Abigail's to put away Cena for the statement win.
What Will Happen: The Wyatts will get banned, and Bray Wyatt will have to fend for himself. He'll be put over Cena, leading to bigger and better things for the young star.
What Might Happen: Cena wins with his terrible STF after taking multiple Wyatt finishers after 15 minutes.
Daniel Bryan vs. HHH
What Should Happen: Bryan should go over HHH in a long match. He should kickout of at least one pedigree and continue to play his underdog role. HHH should target an area on Bryan's body, weakening him for the title match. Bryan should win with his YES lock, causing HHH not to tap but to pass out.
What Will Happen: Bryan wins with his running knee after HHH throws the kitchen sink at him with help from Stephanie and/or Kane.
What Might Happen: HHH immediately pedigrees Bryan and enters the title match fresher than a daisy.
WWE WHC Match: Batista vs. Randy Orton (C) vs ???
What Should Happen: Bryan should be the third party, and cap off his quest for the title by pinning Randy Orton with a running knee. Batista should play a minor role due to his small gas tank and limited abilities. HHH should try and interfere to cause Bryan to lose, but should ultimately be unsuccessful.
What Will Happen: Daniel Bryan will win with a running knee on Batista following Batista Bomb to Orton. Bryan will capitalize and pin the champ.
What Might Happen Part 1: HHH will beat Bryan and win the WWE WHC title to troll the IWC/WWE Universe.
What Might Happen Part 2: Bryan wins and celebrates. After the match, CM Punk attacks his former Ring of Honor foe and sets up a feud between the two internet darlings.
Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know @SeanNeutron